My doula Julie sent me this lovely article today (http://www.mothering.com/articles/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between/) that articulates exactly how I’m feeling – stuck in a place of in between. For me, it’s been a place of anxiety and doing, mainly to distract myself, and not a place of patience and being. It’s funny, whenever I need it most, I stop meditating, and this week it would have done me a whole lot of good. But with family in town, the holidays, and lots of things to do to distract me, I completely neglected my practice. Last night I finally slowed down enough to write and reflect, and today I’m focusing on listening – to my body and my baby and trusting they know exactly what they’re doing.
Thanksgiving was such a wonderful time filled with loving family and great food. Andy’s extended family came into town, and he and his mom cooked an amazing meal. We ate a ton, watched alot of movies, and just spent time together. I was so happy to have everyone come to us and still get to celebrate this year even though I couldn’t travel. They were all so helpful in setting up the nursery too! I felt so much anxiety about waiting til the last minute to do that, but now it’s done and everything is starting to feel real. There’s baby contraptions set up throughout the house and a room for me to visit and daydream about this next phase. Nesting is in full swing!
I’m officially 38 weeks on Wednesday, and that’s our next doctor’s appointment. It’s funny, you want to know what’s going on, but the more you know, the more you google and think and get all worked up! At our last visit I had my first cervical check. I was 2cm dilated and 60% effaced, and my doctor said I probably wouldn’t make it to 40 weeks but hoped that I’d make it to 38. This is precisely why I started to freak out that she would come early, and of course she hasn’t. This weekend I thought my water broke, and I thought contractions were starting but false alarm. I know I really need to relax…
Check out this beatiful interview of the woman who delivered her baby on her own at Standing Rock: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vaKoaG3Nlo
“The teepee represents the womb…the home always belonged to the women.”
Back Pain – Still there but not a big deal if I don’t do much. This means I’m not moving around much, just sitting with my feet propped up. I tried to walk around a little bit and then ended up icing my back. Not fun!
Hormones – Mostly nerves at this point, but I feel less overwhelmed now that things are getting checked off my list!
Braxton Hicks – Getting more intense but still irregular. We tried timing one night, and they were 10-15 min apart.
Bladder – She’s really sitting on my bladder now which is partly why I thought my water broke. I peed 5 times in 10 minutes and was so confused as to why. It’s so weird.
Swelling – My legs are pretty swollen, but my feet are doing ok. Bending is tough!
I want to yoga so badly! I might get desperate and see if I can do a water aerobics class or something, but I don’t have a gym membership right now. Everything gives me back issues so not sure at this point what is helpful or causing more pain. I might try Sit and Be Fit later on lol.
Foods I Like:
- Leftover Thanksgiving food!! Andy made green bean casserole again last night just so I could eat some.
- Chicken sandwiches
- Grilled pork vermicelli bowl
- Sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits
Patience. Still rings true.