“Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence.” ~Barbara Marciniak
I have been inundated with weddings as of late, and this quote really hit the core of many issues I’ve encountered in the process. I don’t know why weddings in particular cause so much emotion and stress, but I can understand its derived importance based on expectation and tradition. This quote has given me much clarity and grounds me as emotions run high around this topic. It shows me that the single most critical aspect of planning a wedding is to emit my frequency – that of love. In fact, I hope that everyone who is alive, regardless if you’re planning a wedding, takes heed of this quote in their everyday interactions with people. It’s relevant to each of us whether we are seeking a new job, trying to find the perfect partner, or just unsure of our current path in life. We get so wrapped up around our own expectations, what others think of us, and fear in general that we forget to live authentically and share our purpose. But I challenge you to speak your truth, to use your talents, and to rise to your full potential and beyond. Live vibrantly, and raise up everything and everyone around you!
But I know it’s easier said than done. This is why, if we really want to live purposefully, we must be willing to work; we must understand what we are working for; we must choose to break down our self-imposed barriers to live the life we deserve.
I know this all too well. I could say everyone has such high expectations of me, but in reality, I hold myself to such high expectations that it’s exhausting. I have to teach 5 yoga classes a week (on top of working 40 hours at my day job). I have to be charitable and run the Room to Read Austin chapter. I have to plan my wedding and accommodate for all my relatives’ suggestions and feedback. I have to say yes to all requests that come my way. One of the most confusing things Andy ever said to me was, “You don’t have to do ANY of these things!” At that moment, I realized what he said was true. I began to understand the power of saying no. Don’t get me wrong, No is not a place from which to always operate. But for a person who is always a Yes to things that don’t always serve me, No is a powerful tool when used correctly. In this regard, I made the difficult decision to step down from the Room to Read Austin chapter. I made a conscious decision to focus on planning my wedding and creating the presence and space to do so. I was in tears as I told my contact at the global office and lamented over not having done more to transition the chapter, but then she reminded me of all I had accomplished in the past 6 years: raising thousands of dollars, building a school in Sri Lanka, funding several libraries in India, and supporting hundreds of girls on scholarship worldwide; traveling to India and Vietnam; and cultivating a globally recognized chapter. I realized that I had such high expectations of myself to continue doing what no one had ever expected me to do in the first place. Then I realized that my stepping down would open up an opportunity and empower someone else to step up. It would also allow me to focus my talents on the biggest priority in my life right now – my relationship with Andy. How can I feel guilty for that?
The Concern for Looking Good
I like to look good. There, I admitted it. I like to be able to do all the hardest yoga poses; I like my family to see my career as successful; I like to look like I have it together. I was humbled when I asked myself truthfully how often in life I did something so others would think that I look good. This has caused me injury, heartache, and stress. It amazed me! When I realized I was doing this, I couldn’t fathom why I would live to impress others. But I did, and I do. It’s human nature to care about what others think, and when you throw in my Type A and people-pleasing tendencies, it just gets out of hand. I seemed like I would be forever seeking approval and never feel I was good enough. More importantly, it made me realize my own reflection of my self worth and that I wasn’t fully appreciating the skills that I possess. If I’m unable to recognize where my talents and passions collide, I’ll forever be chasing the dream of being someone I’m not. And someone will always be better at X than me. So instead of chasing this ridiculous idea of what I should be, I choose to accept myself for everything that I am and that I am not. And when that mindset clicked, I noticed an ease in my practice. I didn’t try so hard, but poses came easily. And I felt good. I wasn’t looking for opportunities, but tons of opportunities sought me out anyway. I got a new job, was asked to officiate a wedding, and received help for my own wedding in so many ways I didn’t expect. It’s amazing how when you are truthful, aware, and open, you attract your heart’s deepest desires – the things you may not realize you even needed.
I hate to say it, but I fear many things. I mostly fear failure. I feared stepping down from Room to Read because I thought the organization would flounder without me. I feared taking the new job because I wasn’t sure I was up for the challenge. I fear teaching yoga sometimes because others will find out I’m human and that I make mistakes. But where does fear leave me? It makes me play small and shrink back from living my fullest potential. And I realize now, failure has taught me the most profound, impactful lessons in life. It has led me to realize my self worth, unconditional love, and the meaning of true power.
Speak Truthfully. Act Compassionately. Love Fiercely.
I recently officiated my third wedding, and it brought me in tune to life’s meaning and my purpose. I’ve been on a quest to find myself for the past few years. I’ve read a million books; I’ve spent thousands of dollars and hours on yoga training; I’ve traveled the world; I’ve meditated; I’ve blogged. I thought I was transforming, and then I realized, I was still trying so hard. I was undoubtedly more aware, but I was still absorbing frequencies around me – what people thought, what people expected, what I should do, especially around topics such as my wedding. Then the bride shared a thought with me that spoke to me profoundly:
“I had been praying for an answer of where my life was going because I had pretty much tried everything else the rational mind could do. So instead, I chose to surrender and become spiritually open to the universe.”
I completely understood at that moment what my teacher meant when he said, “Give it up to get empty” – the freedom of letting go of control and allowing things to just be. So what does my life look like now? On the surface level, not a whole lot different. But internally, I see changes in my attitude, outlook, and reactions. I know my worth. I take responsibility for my actions and use my talents where I must. I live in power and empower others to live in theirs. And I continue to see so many doors open that I can say yes (and no) to and give of myself AND receive fully. I realize now that my purpose isn’t simply to teach yoga, to be a project manager, or to be a bride. My purpose is much broader – to share my thoughts truthfully, to connect with others fully, and to love unconditionally. And to be open to the possibility that this can show up in many ways. My purpose is to acknowledge myself for exactly who I am. I choose to emit my frequency on this world and nothing less.