“Out beyond ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” – Rumi
I’ve blogged about this quote before in reference to a surfing breakthrough and my beautiful time in Hawaii. Fast forward 7 years later, this quote pops into my head during meditation…in reference to potty training. A few weeks ago, Amaya had 3 accidents in a day and several accidents throughout the week, and I was frustrated. After seeing a ton of progress the first two weeks, I had fallen trap to an expectation that she would just “get it” and be done potty training. She began to show less excitement about going pee, so I took the really hands off approach and just let her tell me when she needed to go. This didn’t set her up for success, and the accidents started. Then I swung the complete opposite direction and started asking her relentlessly about going, and she really didn’t like this. So I was at a stalemate, and I turned to Andy for advice.
We laid in bed and talked for nearly an hour about Amaya’s personality, her response to different styles of communication, and how to set her up for success. As many of you know, she’s strong-willed and wants things done her way. She knows exactly what she wants. And she’s determined. We both work hard to establish clear boundaries and always give her choices within them. Potty training is no different, but I hadn’t found how to fit it into this approach. What works for Andy is asking her what she wants to do, giving her choices, and then telling her she needs to pee before we do it. As a result, she’s focused on her intended outcome, and she’s willing to do what it takes to get it. Magic. Have I mentioned lately, how much I love my husband? Intuition is one of his best qualities. Potty training is back on track, and we’re all doing awesome
Santa Fe trip
This past month Christine and I went to Santa Fe! It was our first trip together since kids and long overdue. It was also one of the best trips, in my opinion, we’ve ever taken. And we’ve been to some really cool places and have experienced incredible things (Spain, Istanbul, Bali to name a few). We stayed at Sunrise Springs, a wellness haven with a lovely spa, outdoor hot tubs, puppy play classes, and tons of yoga and meditation. Plus endless high-end tea and the best blue corn pancakes ever! We experienced a sweat ceremony led by a spiritual healer named Concha. It was vulnerable, authentic, and freeing. And it gave me clarity and a deeper sense of love and connection to myself and Christine. I’m not sure if it was the magic in the landscape, the time away, the slow pace, incredible massages (four hands massage at ten thousand waves is a MUST), but it lit a spark in me. I wrote poetry, read, and felt grounded. I’m so grateful we dedicated this time for ourselves and each other.
The weekend after I returned, I led a mother blessing ceremony for Lisa. A mother blessing, or blessingway, is a sacred pre-birth ceremony performed by the Navajo people. I attended one when I was pregnant and led a 1:1 session for my friend Heidi, but I added my own touches to this one. We came together in a circle of her closest women friends to connect, empower, and uplift. My intention was to do the opposite of give advice. I wanted to remind her all the qualities she already possess to be a great mother, the strong partnership she has which will serve her in parenting, and the tribe of women around her who share common fears and anxieties. I felt connected and grounded in this beautiful offering, like I was doing my soul’s work. She went into labor the next day and delivered a healthy and strong baby girl!
With all that has come to pass this month, a consistent meditation practice, and my habit tracker, I’m putting this out into the world: I’m going to write my book! But before I begin putting pen to paper, I’m conducting a research study on motherhood. My intention is to learn about everyone’s unique journey – whether you are contemplating even having a family, a new mom, or someone who chose not to have kids – and the common threads that bind us as women. So if you’re willing, I’d love to interview you! I’m excited to share this project in the future. If you’re interested, please feel free to ask me more!
- Andy’s words: she’s a walking, talking, little girl
- Huge increase in communication, all full sentences
- She has memorized and can recall books while we read them and sings tons of songs (she’s basically Spotify on shuffle in the car)
- Her motor skills are incredible and so is her confidence – we went to the gym last weekend, and she volunteered to do everything with gusto!
- She’s learning to kick and catch balls
- We got her a helmet and have a borrowed balance bike, ready to roll! But she’s a bit scared still
- She randomly tells me she loves me, gives the best hugs, and cups my face in her hands at night as we lay face each other and sing “I love you” by Barney
- Her daily chores include feeding Olivia and letting her out to pee
- She’s learning to convey anger through words vs. becoming silent and asking for what she needs to feel better
- We still say our nightly gratitude by “thanking our stars” and naming all the people she loves as she points to a star on the ceiling (using her night light star projector); curious if you’ve been on the list? You’d be surprised! I absolutely love this practice and highly recommend it
- Amaya is brave. She walks into the doctor’s office by herself, steps on the scale and sits alone in a chair for her examination
Sorry for the late post! Huzzah, 2 and 3 months!